Personal Note From Nikki On The Motherhood Bowl
It has been 100 days since I began my journey of matrescence, the process of becoming a mother. Learning what it feels like to bask in contrasting emotions - chaos and harmony, joy and grief, presence and longing…but always overwhelming love.
100 days of wondering who I am, but never feeling more at home. 100 days of discovering how to be deeply in the moment, but less attached to it. 100 days of feeling what I searched for my entire life, just by one look in my baby’s eyes. 100 days of allowing life to flow through me, catalyzing my transformation into the woman I always knew I was. I’ve watched the world continue on, while I feel left behind at times, and yet, there’s no place I’d rather be.
I’ve stumbled around, ending up, over and over at a place of surrender, grounded by two forces.
The first is my baby. When I feel alone, he’s right there with me, reminding me that we have each other - in the middle of the night when we’re the only two awake or the middle of the day, when everyone is away, we have each other. When I feel critical of the way my body has transformed, he smiles at me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. And when I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, he gazes up at me (mid cry or fuss) like he’s so grateful that I’m so deeply attuned to his needs, that I'm always listening.
The inside of this singing bowl represents this bond. The baby we hold, that holds us. You will see it if you look closely.
The second force is all of the women in my life. The divine feminine. They have gathered around me, holding me, reminding me that matrescence calls us into our power. It’s messy, it’s triggering, it’s a wild ride…but on the other side is a wisdom and a sacredness that can’t be learned any other way than diving deeply into the abyss of motherhood. These women - my mom, grandmas, aunts, cousins, friends, midwives, doulas - have called me back to my center so that from there, I can live the soulful life that my child and the world deserves to witness.
The outside of this singing bowl represents this circles of women who stand together and who have stood together for centuries. The divine feminine. You will see it if you look closely.
I am so honored to share this singing bowl with you, so that you can welcome it into your life, or share it with the women in your life who are walking the sacred path of motherhood. A tribute to them.
This bowl has been on my own sacred path - I played this bowl for my baby when I carried him in my womb. It was present at my mother’s blessing and during my baby’s birth. I still enchant my baby boy with her beautiful sounds. And even more than that - I play it to center myself. To remind myself of my song.
My hope is that this bowl sings the harmonies of motherhood - the notes of the chaos and harmony, joy and grief, presence and longing. The endless (and contrasting) textures and beats we can feel, calling us back to our center, culminating into the song of our life.